Female Sexual Addiction

If all addictions are shame based, then female sexual addiction is the “shame de la shame” of all addictions.
Here is a nice piece done by a Vancouver News station about female sexual addiction:

If this video struck a chord please look at this assessment:

WSAST 2

Feel free to contact me if you would like to discuss your answers. The shame only continues if you keep it a secret.

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Roger Ebert

Roger Ebert a long time movie reviewer with Chicago Sun-Times died yesterday after a long battle with cancer.

Roger was also a recovering alcoholic who in August 2009 told his story about his recovery.  His blog should be titled “AA 101” because he tells about  how AA  works from his own perspective.  There are AA program related materials as well as you tube videos that accurately describe alcoholism and recovery in movies.

Read the blog here

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An Amazing Story

From Lifecaster

“The Beast and the Angel”

Filmmakers:
Adam McKay and Shira Piven
Location:
Los Angeles, CA

As the teenage leader of the popular 1960s Detroit band, The MC5, Wayne Kramer is a pioneer in America’s punk rock music scene. Rolling Stone magazine listed Kramer as one of the top 100 guitarists of all time. Kramer and The MC5 believed that the power of music could change the world, but personal issues and drug addictions tore the band apart, and their dream died.

In the mid-1970s, Kramer pled guilty to a cocaine-dealing charge and spent two years in federal prison. The Clash wrote a song about Kramer during this time called JAIL GUITAR DOORS. During this devastating time for him, Kramer turned to music to heal his anger and pain. When he was released, Kramer continued to play music and perform, and then he co-founded Jail Guitar Doors USA as a way to continue to heal his pain and rehabilitate prison inmates by allowing them to communicate in non-violent ways through music.

But this is a difficult journey for Kramer. As much as he wants to put aside his past, he knows that in order to achieve his goal of helping others like him, he must enter a place he never wanted to return to, and somehow use his skills and his pain to reach current inmates through music to help them heal.

Kramer must now fight with prison administrators for access and convince prisoners to trust him. If he succeeds, Kramer will take a path that combines music and tragedy to reach the goal he’s had since he was a teenager: to show how music can change world for the better—one inmate at a time.

For more information: www.waynekramer.com

Kramer talks about how he made this significant change in his life:

change is possible

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Chalk Talk

Here is a rehab standard, and oldie but goodie done by the late Father Joseph Martin.  In this 1 hour plus video, he explains alcoholism, the consequences and effects of drinking,and recovery.  The presentation in done is his humorous and straightforward way.

 

Father Martin’s “Chalk Talk on Alcoholism” from Tod Maffin on Vimeo.

For more information the rehab in his name, Father Martin’s Ashley click here

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Betterman

It’s amazing what I hear while driving in my car:

In hearing this song last night driving home, I was struck by the number people I’ve worked with over the years that this song could apply to. These men or women are in addicted/abusive/unhealthy relationships,and think that they “can’t find a better man”(or woman). These people who like the person in the song “practice their speech”, but rarely say anything to their partner about their needs. Over time, because they haven’t expressed their needs, they don’t have needs, and decide that they “can’t find a betterman, oh”.

How does this happen? In my experience, many of the people I’ve worked with come from families who have the same addiction/abuse/chaos and dysfunction. It’s what they know, so therefore they can’t find that “betterman” because they have no idea what he or she might look like. All they can find is the repeat of their family of origin. They probably have stated at least to themselves, that they hate the behavior of family members (or the family members themselves), and when they get married, there is no way in hell, that they will marry a person who acts this way. When they meet that special one, and decide to cement the partnership, it’s no surprise (to me) that they do exactly the opposite of their goal–they repeat exactly what they hate!!!? Later in the relationship, as the dysfunction grows to be destructive, “she loves him, she don’t want leave this way, she feeds him, that’s why she’ll be back again” is the day to day refrain of the relationship–the person knows nothing else.

With all of this stuck, rigid, predictble day-to-day mess, how does this person end up in my office? This is one of the most exciting and interesting parts of my day. How does the person find the courage to talk about all of this stuff when arguably they’ve never talked to anyone in their life? (“no one else needs to know, she tells herself”) What prompts them to pick up that “10,000 pound phone” and say “I need to make an appointment”? Some people come in because of other issues– anxiety, depression, their own addictive behaviors, others ask a trusted friend, “what should I do?” Some people, miraculously as it seems to me, find their way because they are “sick and tired of being sick and tired”.

The first part of the journey is their own awareness that they don’t have to feel the way they do. They have other options. They can work on having feelings and validating them. They can identify their own personal boundaries of what is acceptable and what is not. They can work on communicating the feelings and the boundaries. They can work on self care!!!–how to care about my needs, my wants, and feel like a real person. This is a long process, but a rather doable one. Each step of the way is highlighted by the person examining their own behaviors, motives, and feelings to “rewire” the dysfunctional family of origin wiring, and replace it with new, healthy, self care wiring. In the end, they can find a betterman(or woman) to complement their own growth,and their own happiness.
Add your thoughts and comments…

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