Couples and Family Issues
One of the myths about couples counseling is that it is one step closer to divorce. If a couple goes to couples counseling it is inevitable they will get divorced. Actually the opposite is true. A couple, whether married or not, that decides to work on their issues has a much greater chance of making change!!!!
In addition, of of the most difficult issues that couples face is the belief that things can change. Some couples are quite destructive in the way that they hurt one another. One of the most important things for couples to have are “Fair Fighting Rules”
Rules For Fair Fighting
- Speaking one at a time
- Looking for compromises
- Trying not to generalize
- Allowing for time-outs and breathers
- Observing rules that you set
- No forcing, No hitting, No threats
- Showing personal respect
- Being honest with yourself and them
- Giving your reasons
- Admitting when you are wrong
- Allowing equal time to speak
- Name calling
- Opening old wounds, dredging up the past
- Intimidating, coercing or threatening
- Changing the rules and not saying so
- Expecting there to be a winner and a loser
- Saving up gripes to dump them all at once
- Reading the other’s mind
- Denying the facts
- Using sex as leverage
- Using violence of any kind
- Appearing to ignore your partner
Unfair Behavior:
Do you continue to have difficulties with relationships? Do the same patterns seem to keep happening? Read about emotional pursuers and distancers to find out more.