Apology & Forgiveness

Apology and Forgiveness by Case (2005)

One of the most important aspect of dealing with the hurt that a loved one cause is the process of forgiveness. How does a person forgive? How does a person apologize? Here are some guidelines to help.

The Process of Forgiving

  • Recognizing/acknowledging the injustice(s)
  • Choosing forgiveness as an option
  • Getting in touch with feelings of hurt/anger
  • Expressing the feelings in non-hurtful ways
  • Gaining insights which allow for self-protection
  • Gaining insights which allow you to focus on the behavior, not the person
  • Recognizing your own role in the “bigger picture” of hurtful behaviors in the relationship
  • Using new information to change how you view and treat the hurtful person
  • The overt act of forgiveness and restoration of love and trust

The Process of Apology

  • Acknowledge what you did to hurt/offend him/her
  • Learn how what you did impacted him/her and express an understanding of that impact
  • Make restitution where needed and possible
  • Learn how and why you did what you did, and share understanding with other person
  • Identify and show your plan of action to not repeat hurtful behavior
  • Overtly apologize and ask for forgiveness
  • Follow Through!

If you follow these steps, in time, your hurt and pain will be reduced.