City of Ruins

This Springsteen song recorded live in 2012 has a very inspirational message.

This particular version is very validating for people going through grief at the holiday season. Many people are missing their loved ones. Bruce seems to capture this sentiment and asks the audience “Is there anyone missing?”  He later states, “If you’re here, then they’re here!”

Watch the song:

 

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The Traffic Light

Our anxiety does not come from thinking about the future,

but from wanting to control it

Kahlil Gibran

 

If you live in NJ and commute you know that you will drive in traffic. You will stop and go and stop and go. If you have to do one of those jug handle turns in order to turn left, you typically race to make the light. Did you ever think what would happen if you didn’t make the light? What would you miss? Would you get a better song to listen to, would you make one more phone call?

One day I got stuck at the traffic light. (For the record, I listened to more music) I waited and waited and waited for the light to change to green. As I made the turn on to my next street, I saw a police car, lights flashing, zoom past me. I kept on driving. I saw where the police car ended up. There was a serious car accident right down the street. I thought, “Wow if I had made that light could that have been me in that accident?” The thought shook me and I continued my commute.

After arriving at my destination, I began to think about recent world events. What would have happened if I was on that New York street the day the bombs went off in Chelsea, or I had been on the platform the day the NJ transit train crashed in Hoboken? How do you explain the randomness of these bad things happening? How do we deal with this? If you think too much about these questions, you will never leave your house again. Your motto will be “There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home.”

Staying home however isn’t the answer. I mean bad stuff happens in people’s homes everyday—accidents, falls, fires, robberies. That doesn’t sound any better, in fact it sounds worse.

What is the answer to the craziness of our world, a world where tragedies happen to both good and bad people? I mean we smile and smirk when karma comes back around and the bad people get it, but at the end of the day it’s hardly a victory. When the tragedies happen to good people, we are stuck, we are without words, we are without anything. There is nothing left to say or do.

Our lack of control in our life is frightening. We desperately want control. We want to know when people will die, so we can say our goodbyes at the right time. We want to know when we will be laid off so we can get our resumes out to land that new job. We want to know when our houses will sell so we can find the new house that we want. We never know any of these things in advance. We get upset, we get frustrated, and we get angry when we have no control.

We need to figure out how to handle our lack of control and how we can live our lives in a healthier, less anxious way. Here is a musical example of our fear and anxiety. The band Incubus, released the song “Drive” in 2000. It appears on their third album Make Yourself. Enjoy the song.

“Drive” gives us a clue for handling this fear and anxiety “I should be the one behind the wheel”. We’ll address this topic in greater detail in part 2 of this blog.

Remember change is possible.

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The club

There are many clubs in the world. In a world with many self unaware people, here is a club that you wouldn’t want to belong to– the -100 club with a special section reserved for people with narcissism. Learn about narcissism and how it effects others. Also on the show, a special communication technique called “And Stop”

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Lois Wilson speaking at a convention 1982

Did you ever go looking for something and can’t find it?  Of course you have!

How about in the process of looking for that other thing,you found something else?  Of course you have!(And didn’t find the  main thing I was looking for)

This is what I found:

 

 

if you unaware of who Lois Wilson is read this:

http://www.steppingstones.org/loisstory.html

change is possible

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Big Yellow Taxi

Don’t it always seem to go

that you don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone

 

I was contacted by fellow blogger “Ruby’s Reflections” .  She wanted to be a guest blogger since we both like to write about music and change.  Here is her post.:

 

Sometimes you think to yourself “I could do better than this guy/girl I’m with.  I should look for something/someone new and more exciting, prettier/ more handsome, sexier, funnier, richer, more educated….”  So you get rid of the “old” and/or push the “old” away, and you find someone “better”.  But soon you realize “Hey I miss what I once had with that first one, but now it’s too late to get him/her back.”

So in the words of Joni Mitchell’s “Big Yellow Taxi”, before you “pave over” what you currently have in your life, take some time to really think, reflect, and ask yourself, “Could I just be honest with the one I love, and let him/her know I think we have something good, but it could be even better, maybe even GREAT if we work on it? Do I care enough about this person to do the work…..before I just give it all away?”

So remember… that new “paradise” that you are always seeking and think that you might have found, can just as easily end up as your next parking lot. So before you “move your car” into what could be a future “empty parking space”, please first take a look at what you’ve already got…it might just be worth saving!

 

Great post Ruby.  Sage wisdom about “looking before you leap”

Change is possible

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