I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.
Courage is a large and powerful word. It is defined as “mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty.”
Courage is a major trait that people need to use in order to make changes in their lives. In my office, people need a great deal of courage in order to improve the quality of their lives. In fact, the entire journey is filled with many courageous steps. Let’s examine the process.
Almost all prospective clients start their counseling process by either calling or emailing. They inevitably state three words that are hard to say “I need help.” They schedule an appointment. They need to show up for the appointment that they scheduled. (You may or may not be surprised, that there is a percentage of people who cancel that appointment and do not reschedule.)
During that first appointment the person now says out loud and face to face, what their particular struggle/ problem/difficulty/ is that they are facing. The person describes it in full detail, the duration, the intensity, the consequences and implications of this issue. On one hand, this is overwhelming disclosure; on the other hand there is relief. Someone now knows.
To illustrate how much courage is required, here is a small sample of some of the issues that came up in my office this past week:
- A person who wants to stop drinking.
- A person who wants to get out of a marriage.
- A person who is dealing with an abusive ex-spouse.
- A person who is dealing with family issues and lots of family dysfunction.
- A person who is going to their first 12 step meeting.
- A person who shares about a traumatic event. I am the first person to hear the details.
Yes I get to meet with some very courageous people!
The question that comes to mind is how do people find the courage and perseverance to make these changes? Some people would say that they are just motivated to improve. And while that is obvious, the bigger question would be how did they get so motivated to improve?
Tony Robbins states “Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.” Courage to change would then occur when there is no way out; I will have to do something better than what I am currently doing. Although immensely scary, the path of change has to be better than the path that I’m on. If I keep walking on the path of change, I will recognize that the pain gets smaller, the intensity and duration are less. Does this happen instantly? Of course not! Nothing worthwhile is ever fast and quick—fast food may satisfy your immediate hunger, but won’t help you in the long run. Your commitment to change will require a constant re-evaluation of your courage.
Two other components of courage, are a dedication to change and a hopeful belief system. At times during therapy, there were opportunities where it would be easy for my clients to stop coming due to the myriad of life stressors (kids, jobs, cars etc), but they kept coming. When they were asked how they managed to keep coming in spite of their pain or fear or discomfort, they expressed the hope that they could and would be better. This belief about their futuristic change combined with their dedication led them to quality of life changes.
It seems to me that when you find your courage to change and believe that your changes are indeed possible, you change. Find your courage today in order to make the changes that you need to make!
Change is possible.
The Escape from Summer Hypnosis group met on July 28, 2018.
It was a great group with all participants having a positive response.
Here is a sample of what the group experienced that day:
If you are interested in finding out more about how hypnosis can improve your life, contact me here
change is possible.
If you want to escape from the stress of summer, attend the Escape from Summer Hypnosis Group:
To register for the group, go to:
This podcast was recorded as an episode in the “Friends in Recovery Podcast” series
The Podfather Mike Miles is away in Fiji leaving Jeff Zeizel and Ed Chionchio Sr to interview Dr. Jeff Brandler about his practice, podcast, and blog at www.changeIsPossible.org. Dr. Jeff uses many tools to help his clients deal with fear and anxiety like hypnosis, acupuncture, and bench marking “What is the worst thing that ever happened to you?” and “How does this situation compare with that?” He reminds his clients that things are “inconvenient not tragic” and that Action alleviates anxiety. Remember you or your loved one do not need to hit rock bottom to get help. Thought stopping Remember you or your loved one do not need to hit rock bottom to get help. If you or a loved one needs help reach out to our panel at Help@FriendsInRecoveryPodcast.com. There are also many ways to help someone that is suffering from addiction. There are professionals here to help you from staging an intervention to getting counseling as a family member. This and every Friends in Recovery Podcast is recorded live at the Studio 21 Podcast Café, is hosted on the United Podcast Network and is brought you by Genesis House.
Do I have an alcohol problem covers the following topics
- What is a standard drink
What is too much
What are defense mechanism and what do they do
Am I really in control of my drinking
What if I don’t remember what happened while I drank
On Sanford and Son, Fred Sanford is watching too much television. His family thinks he’s addicted. They call in the hypnotist to cure him of his addiction.
Watch how hypnosis is done on television:
1) Hypnosis is not done with a watch.
2) In hypnosis the person is not “under” the spell of the hypno -therapist.
3) The post hypnotic suggestion, Fred will become warm every time television if mentioned, IS quite successful.
Hypnosis is a powerful tool that can produce all kinds of changes. It can help with sleep,anxiety, sexual functioning, as well as many other issues.
If you are interested in experiencing how hypnosis works, attend one of my upcoming hypnosis workshops. They will occur on February 3rd from 1:30-2:30PM and March 3rd from 1:30-2:30PM.
To register for the February 3rd workshop go to: http://bit.ly/2BTS0Zf
To register for the March 3rd workship go to: https://buff.ly/2DaIDJd
If you have any questions about the workshops, or would like to attend a private consultation, or about hypnosis in general, feel free to contact me:
With the New Year approaching, it’s a good time to take stock of last year.
- Did you have a good and healthy year?
- Did you make all the changes that you hoped to make?
- Did you follow through on the goals that you had planned?
If you’ve answered “no” to any of these questions, let me introduce you to something which may help you answer “yes” to the same questions for 2018.
Through the use of hypnosis I have helped people make the following changes:
1) Anxiety–dramatic decrease.
2) Sleep–more restful.
3) Sexual Performance–A dramatic increase.
4) Depression– significant decrease.
5) Physical Pain– significant decrease in the intensity.
Many of these changes occurred in just one or two sessions.
Hypnosis is an amazing and powerful treatment. For some people it has been a great addition to the “tools” that they needed to be better. For some people, it was their only treatment .
I would like to introduce you to this powerful change agent. On the first Saturday of every month, starting on January 6, 2018, I will be facilitating a small group demonstration of hypnosis. You will get to see if hypnosis can work for you. The cost is $20 per group session. Registration is required since space is limited.
To register go to: http://www.changeispossible.org/event/new-year-new-you/. You can pre-pay at the Pay Pal link on the website.
If you are not much of a group person, but are interested in discovering the benefits of hypnosis, feel free to contact me and we will schedule a private consultation.
This can be your year of change–it can be a New You, New Year!
Change is indeed possible!
In memory of “Paula” for sharing pain, joy, and this song with me
Whenever I hear this song, I get an instant memory of Paula who played this song for me in my office one day. She strongly identified with the line “I scream at the top of
my lungs “what’s going on”- it was her tag line of the frustration with her life, her frustration with her lengthy to do list, her sense of being out of control.
Music does this. It evokes memory. Good times, bad times, happy times, sad times.
Think of a period of time in your life, there’s probably a song (or several) that are associated with that time. Think of something positive that happened in your life- wedding, graduation, or other life cycle event. Now think of the song that’s connected to it. That was pretty easy (and maybe fun). Now think of something painful, find that song……..
It’s the songs of our pain which are the ones we hear the loudest and the ones we grow from.
As we head towards the holiday season, some songs will be hardest to hear. The music amplifies our pain. I have noted this in a prior post . We recognize that our tables may have empty seats, may not have the same chatter or laughter as in years past. It’s painful to recognize this after working through loss. These families will have a “bittersweet symphony” . That symphony has its expectations built in: “It’s the holidays and I should be happy, but I’m not”. It’s the sadness of the season that gets to us.
Some families however may have joy and laughter at their tables over this holiday season. There may be great changes since last year’s holidays. These families may reflect back on the miracles of the past year. Tables may have new members, or have new and improved relationships. The songs heard in these households will have a bounce and rhythm all their own. They are in the moment, not reflecting back on past or worrying about the future. They are enjoying what they have; they have the gratitude of the season.
Whether you are sitting at the “happy” table or the “sad” table, remember that you have a seat. You are at this table, and will experience your feelings. It’s part of how we change. For people like Paula, their holidays ended. “What’s going on” is an anthem of awareness, it’s a statement of “trying to get up that hill for a destination”. To Paula, thank you for giving me a lasting memory. I hope that all families experience their lasting memories during the holiday season.
Do you have Stress?
Do you have Anxiety?
Do you have Difficulty Sleeping?
If so, watch this video, you will learn more about hypnosis. In addition you will get a preview of what hypnosis sounds like.